Don’t Buy:
Women or girls exploited in prostitution
Harmful masculinity norms that make you feel unworthy or disconnected
The myths that justify prostitution
The excuses you tell yourself to keep buying sex
The “Dont buy it” concept aims to challenge and counter both sex buying and the myths that still surround prostitution. It is a comprehensive approach for those who want to change their behavior and distance themselves from an industry built on exploitation.
Ask yourself: Why did I click on this page?
Maybe you’ve come here because you’ve bought sex before and want to stop. Maybe you’ve never done it, but you’re curious—or you’ve come close several times, yet something doesn’t feel right. Perhaps you watch a lot of pornography and worry it might lead you to buy sex in the future. Whatever your reason, you’re in the right place.
Talking openly about buying sex—whether you’ve done it or are thinking about it—can be incredibly difficult. You know it’s illegal and, in most circles, socially unacceptable. But opening up to someone can make a real difference. It can help you break the cycle before it begins or prevent you from going back. Seeking support is the first step in taking responsibility for your actions.
The Swedish Sex Purchase Law
Swedish legislation states that it is illegal to buy sex but not to sell it. Purchasing sex is a criminal offence punishable by up to one year in prison. This law exists to protect those who sell sex, as they are often in vulnerable situations. It also reinforces the principle that consent cannot be bought. Buying sex is a form of male violence against women. Exploiting someone in a vulnerable position can also affect how you treat others, such as a partner.
Sex should always be based on mutual consent and equality. When money is exchanged, the conditions are inherently unequal. Not everyone involved has the same ability to say no or set boundaries, as the power dynamic is imbalanced. Paying for a sexual act does not create a fair or equal relationship—nor does it mean that true consent has been given.
This is not about sex—it is about sexual violence. No amount of money can ever justify coercion, exploitation, or abuse.
“The Prostitute”
Prostitution is a form of exploitation. No one would choose this if they had another option. The act of selling sex may stem from the need for money, material goods, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, or even housing. For some, it is a way of coping with past traumatic experiences. It can also be a situation where the person simply has no other choice. This can happen through coercion, persuasion, or even being sold by someone else. It is not uncommon for those exploited in prostitution to come from poorer countries than Sweden. Often, they have been deceived or forced to come here due to their economic situation in their home country. This is known as human trafficking for sexual purposes. Meeting someone who is a victim of trafficking not only contributes to a global illegal industry but also deepens the vulnerability of the individual involved.
For many, the payment is a prerequisite for engaging in sexual acts. The person being exploited would not have sex unless there were some form of compensation involved. Therefore, there is no consent, and without consent, it is not sex—it is an assault. Many people exploited in prostitution live in vulnerable situations. They suffer from mental health issues and often have histories of sexual abuse or other forms of violence. If they had had the option to lead a different life, most would have chosen that. Exploiting someone in a vulnerable situation is never acceptable.
The Myth of the “happy prostitute”
A common misconception is that there are different categories of women who sell sex, and that some do so willingly, for “the thrill” or because they “love sex so much.”This is a widespread myth, one that many tell themselves to justify their actions when purchasing sex. It’s natural to want to rationalise our behaviour, even when we know it’s wrong, but that doesn’t make it acceptable. There is no justification for exploiting another human being.
No woman is truly happy in exploitation. While it may seem that way, in reality, it is often a survival strategy. Many women in prostitution are rated by sex buyers, and in cases of organised prostitution, they can be punished by their pimp if the customer is dissatisfied. A smile, therefore, is not evidence of consent or independence—it may simply be a way to avoid violence or retaliation.
Yet, the myth of the “happy prostitute” persists. On online brothels, it is common for ads to present the prostitute as “Independent” or “Self-employed” to perpetuate the illusion of choice and autonomy. This is a tactic designed to lure buyers and conceal the harsh realities of prostitution.
The truth is, no one freely chooses prostitution. Voluntary participation and independence do not exist in a situation that is built on exploitation. We know that women who have left prostitution never regret their decision. On the contrary, they speak of the trauma and emotional suffering that prostitution has caused them.
Sugar Dating
Sugar dating is often presented as something different from prostitution, but in practice, the boundaries between the two quickly blur. It is sometimes described as a form of dating, but we know that almost all interactions eventually lead to the younger woman feeling pressured into sexual acts. The continuous flow of money into her account creates a sense of dependence, making it difficult to say no, even if the compensation isn’t always given immediately after the sexual act. Leaving such a situation can be challenging, which increases the woman’s vulnerability and makes sugar dating a risky and exploitative dynamic.
The Connection Between Pornography and Prostitution
There is a strong link between pornography and prostitution. Most men who have bought sex are also frequent pornography consumers—especially those who watch it multiple times per week. Studies show that many sex buyers are influenced by pornography, either wanting to recreate what they’ve seen or viewing it as a gateway to purchasing sex. If you’re trying to stop buying sex, pornography can make it harder. It may be worth reflecting on how your porn consumption affects you.
Research indicates that dissatisfaction with one’s sex life, a high dependence on sexual content, and frequent porn use are among the main reasons men buy sex. Some studies also suggest that pornography can negatively shape perceptions of real-life intimacy.
Quitting porn isn’t always easy, but reducing your consumption can be a powerful first step. There are organisations that can support you—these are listed further down the page.
How Common is it really to buy sex?
In Sweden, 10% of all men have bought sex at some point, with nearly 80% of these purchases happening abroad. Most take place during holidays (42.5%), while a significant share occurs on business trips (25.6%).
Research shows that many men buy sex for the first time in a group setting. However, when just one person in the group speaks out against it, others are far more likely to resist—even if they might have otherwise given in to peer pressure.
It’s important to remember that women in other countries are just as vulnerable as those in Sweden. At the same time, only a small percentage of men buy sex each year, and most do not consider it acceptable. In fact, the vast majority of men neither purchase sex nor believe it is okay.
The risk of legal consequences often feels low, and many men focus more on their own desires—leading them to buy sex repeatedly. If you have bought sex or are considering it, it’s crucial to take responsibility. Maybe you already know it’s wrong, or perhaps you’ve developed ways to justify it to yourself. That’s not uncommon—but it doesn’t make it right.
Why Do People Buy Sex?
Have you ever asked yourself that question? If not, it might be worth considering. Some men describe buying sex as a way to protect themselves from rejection, avoid loneliness, or even as a form of emotional self-preservation. Feeling anxious about new relationships is not unusual—it’s a common human experience. There is nothing wrong with having these feelings; what matters is being able to acknowledge and express them. However, these emotions do not justify paying for access to someone else’s body. Consent and relationships cannot be bought—they must always be mutual. Otherwise, both you and, more importantly, the person involved, risk being harmed.
It is not uncommon for those who buy sex, or consider doing so, to be in a committed relationship but feel unable to discuss their sexual needs with their partner. Take a moment to reflect—where do these desires stem from? Have they always been there, or have they emerged in recent years? Could external influences be a factor? It is also important to recognise that your actions impact those around you. Hiding something from a partner or family member does not make it right or consequence-free. In many cases, the truth eventually comes out. By opening up to your partner about your feelings, sexual concerns, or thoughts about buying sex, you may find opportunities to strengthen your relationship. If speaking to a loved one feels too difficult, consider confiding in a neutral third party. Remember, by seeking out this information, you have already taken an important first step.
Organisations that work with individuals who have purchased sex report that many struggle with a complex relationship with sex and intimacy, often due to past trauma. Many men have never been taught how to process their emotions and have instead suppressed them—something that, over time, can lead to destructive behaviours. It is not uncommon for someone who has been a victim of harm to later become a perpetrator, perpetuating the cycle by harming others. This is precisely why breaking the pattern is so crucial.
Having experienced trauma or past victimisation may help explain certain behaviours, but it can never excuse them.
If you want to change your behaviour and stop buying sex, start by talking about it. Taking responsibility for your actions is a vital step towards real change—and towards ending your contribution to exploitation.
Human Trafficking for Sexual Exploitation
Human trafficking is a crime that often crosses international borders, but it also occurs within Sweden. Many people involved in prostitution are also victims of trafficking.
It is not uncommon for individuals to be deceived with false promises of work, only to be coerced into prostitution upon arrival. Many are subjected to abuse by traffickers before they even enter the sex trade. These individuals often have limited knowledge of their rights in Sweden, making them even more vulnerable.
You may believe that you can tell whether someone is a victim of trafficking, but there is no guarantee that you are right. You can never fully know a woman’s situation.
Support Services
If you want to change your behaviour and stop buying sex, a good first step is to talk to someone about it. Taking responsibility for your actions is a significant step and an important part of the journey towards stopping the purchase of exploitation.
KAST stands for “Buyers of Sexual Services” and is a service available in several locations across Sweden. It is aimed at individuals who want to stop buying sex, have compulsive sexual behavior, or are questioning their sexual actions. Many clinics also offer support for family members. Contact is generally anonymous, free of charge, and confidential. Support sessions are available via phone, email, or scheduled visits.
Who Can Get Help from KAST?
You are welcome to contact a KAST clinic if you:
- Buy or are considering buying sexual services and want to talk about it
- Experience a sexual addiction or compulsive sexual behavior (commonly referred to as sex addiction)
- Want support in breaking destructive sexual patterns
- Are a family member of someone with problematic sexual behaviors or a sexual addiction
Where Are KAST Clinics Located?
KAST clinics are currently available in Stockholm, Malmö (Evonhuset), Gothenburg, Karlstad, Västerås, Umeå, Skellefteå, Östersund, Jönköping, and Linköping.
KAST Gothenburg
Offers counseling to people who buy sex, struggle with sex addiction, or have other compulsive sexual behaviors. Provides individual and couples therapy, and support for family members. Offers support for relatives.
📞 031-367 93 55
📧 kast@socialcentrum.goteborg.se
KAST Stockholm
If you buy sexual services, you can receive help and counseling to stop. You can remain anonymous, and the visits are free of charge. The staff is bound by confidentiality.
📞 020 – 220 440
📧 kastmail.sof@stockholm.se
🌐 Website
KAST Uppsala
For individuals who buy sex or have compulsive sexual behavior (e.g., pornography or sex addiction). Talk therapy is designed in agreement with the client.
Contact:
📞 076-139 84 06
📧 ebbamottagningenKAST@
samariterhemmet.se
🌐 Website
KAST Umeå
Provides advice and individual counseling to people who buy sex or struggle with problematic sexual behavior. Also offers support for family members.Offers support for relatives.
📞 020-245 245
📧 mansmottagningen@umea.se
KAST Skellefteå
Supports individuals who want to stop buying or selling sex. Mikamottagningen is for those with experience of sex in exchange for compensation. KAST offers counseling for those wanting to stop buying sex. Offers support for relatives.
📞 0910-71 79 09
📧 kastmottagningen@skelleftea.se
🌐 Website
KAST Sundsvall
Provides counseling and advice for individuals wanting to stop buying sex or who have problematic sexual behavior. Also open to family members. Offers support for relatives.
📞 020-50 33 00
📧 kast@sundsvall.se
🌐Website
KAST Östersund
Offers support and treatment for those who have bought sex or are considering it, struggle with sex addiction, or problematic pornography use. Open to all genders and sexual identities. Free of charge and confidential. No referral needed.
📞 0200-120 145
🌐 Website
KAST Jönköping
Works throughout Jönköping County. Open to people who buy sex, consider sex buying, have sex addiction, or excessive pornography use. Counseling is available via phone, email, or in-person. Offers support for relatives.
📞 036-10 74 74
🕗 Phone hours: Tuesday & Thursday 08:30–09:30
🌐 Website
KAST Karlstad
For individuals over 18 in Värmland. Offers individual counseling and support for family members. No referral needed, no records kept. Offers support for relatives.
📞 0200-290 900
📧 kastvarmland@karlstad.se
🌐 Website
KAST Västerås
Supports individuals who buy sex or are considering it. Counseling via phone, email, or physical meetings.Offers support for relatives.
📞 021-39 37 10 (Phone hours: Monday–Friday 13:00–14:30)
📧 cmv@vasteras.se
🌐 Website
KAST Linköping
For people who buy sex, worry about their thoughts, or want counseling support. Contact via phone, email, video meeting, or visit.
Offers support for relatives.
📞 013-20 52 10( Tuesdays 08:15–09:00)
🌐 Website
Evonhuset Malmö
A specialized center for those with experiences of transactional sex, sugaring, porn use, or other sexual actions affecting their well-being. Also supports those affected by human trafficking. Support is based on your needs and experience and may include help if you:
- Sell or buy sexual services
- Are considering selling or buying sex
- Have engaged in sexual acts that have negatively affected you
- Use pornography in a way that feels problematic
- Use sex as a form of self-harm
Who can contact Evonhuset?
- Anyone over 15 living in Malmö
- All are welcome regardless of gender, background, or identity
- Family members, partners, or other loved ones can also receive support
Contact:
📞 020-35 40 40
🕗 Phone hours: Monday–Friday 08:00–16:00
📧 evonhuset@malmo.se
🌐 Evonhuset – Malmö City
Other support services
Below is a list of organizations where you can seek support. You can also contact your local social services for assistance.
Killar.se
At Killar.se, boys and young men aged 10–25 can give and receive support. Our goal is to provide a safe and encouraging space where boys can explore, express, and deepen their emotional lives in ways that are healthy for both themselves and others.
Starta om
A program run by the Salvation Army that focuses on issues related to online pornography and encourages open conversation and community. The initiative aims to spread knowledge about the effects of pornography—primarily on the consumer, but also on society at large.
Starta om offers practical tools for those seeking help to stop watching online porn and provides an opportunity for a fresh start. Support is offered online, and participants can join group conversations—online groups where 7–8 men with a shared goal of quitting porn meet and support each other. A group leader facilitates the discussions, and each session has a theme related to pornography addiction.
Preventell
PrevenTell is a national helpline for those who feel that their sexuality is out of control or frightening—for example, if you have thoughts or behaviors that worry you. You can speak anonymously with experienced counselors who have dealt with similar concerns before.
Relatives or anyone with questions about problematic sexual behavior are also welcome to reach out.
Contact:
📞 020-66 77 88 (Phone hours are weekdays between 12:00–15:00)
It’s also possible to chat anonymously with them. No personal identity numbers or names should be provided in the chat.
Chat hours: Mondays and Thursdays between 12:00–13:00